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Memos to Hollywood @ Festivus Time

I just love this NY Times article and keep referring back to it in my remixing thoughts. Written last May to various Hollywood CEOs and Directors, the papers’ movie critics finally air their grievances with the business. Perhaps it’s the holiday season, but upon review, I am reminded of the traditional Festivus airing of the grievances of which I am accustom. I don’t agree with all their memos but, overall, the critics’ attempt is heartwarming and long anticipated.

I got a lot of problems with you people! And now, you’re gonna hear about it. Frank Costanza


To: Straight filmmakers

From: M.D.

Enough with the gay slurs, the gay baiting, imitating, limp-wristing, so-not-funny lisping — in other words, enough with the hating. Yeah, some gay men are hilarious (Oscar Wilde). But people are funny, their identities are not. Try this simple test: Every time you feel the need to mock or denigrate gay men or lesbians, replace that joke with an equally vicious dig about African-Americans or Jews. Doesn’t sound so funny anymore, does it?

To: Heads of production, Sony, Universal, Paramount, Fox, Disney

Cc: Joe Swanberg, Andrew Bujalski, Greta Gerwig, Aaron Katz and all their Facebook Friends

From: A.O.S.

You all keep trying to make Rock HudsonDoris Day-style romantic comedies with the golden guys and gals of the moment, and the results are sexless, subtextless, bland career-girl-in-search-of-Mr.-Right retreads. Meanwhile, a bunch of hungry directors with digital cameras, time on their hands and not much money are making free-form studies about tentative hookups and long conversations among actual, overeducated, undermotivated young folks.

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